Getting unstuck - can't you or won't you?

I recently went over to my mom’s for coffee. A treat, as always. My brother came in with his chemistry homework and asked something-something about potatoes. (my last chemistry class is way too far in the past for me to still speak that language). He basically said "I can’t do this. I don’t know the answer to this."

I asked: "Well, have you checked the companion book?" No, he hadn’t. A resource at his fingertips...unutilized.

The conversation with my brother wasn’t too different from how some client conversations start:

Client: "I don’t know what I need to do to be a leader. I don’t know how to network in this new field I’m trying to break into. I don’t know how to set up an email marketing campaign. I don’t know….."

Typically, I don’t buy that. Of course, when I know the ‘how to’, I’ll happily share or offer a resource. However, the "how to" isn't the core of the matter. Instead, I ask a few questions that relate more to the BEING than to the DOING:

• Why do you want to know/do this?
• Why haven’t you accomplished this yet?
• Have you heard of a thing called the Internet? 😉

I don’t mean to be snarky. Of course, they have. What I’m saying is, everyone in this digital day and age is as resourceful as they make themselves out to be.

• If you want to learn about sales funnels or how to set up an email list, google it.
• If you want to learn about email marketing, take a course, watch a webinar, etc.

You get the idea.

If you’re not doing it, it’s either not really important, or there’s a mindset shift required, aka a judgment holding you back.

So, if you’re not doing it, instead of beating yourself up over it, a few questions might help steer you in the right direction:

• What project is this task a part of?
• What are you afraid of happening once you set X in motion? (Another version of this is, how could your dream, that this task is a part of, turn into a nightmare?)
• What’s keeping you from doing it?
• How could you figure out how to do it? And why haven’t you / won’t you?

And ultimately, you want to ask this:

How can I approach this project (not task) with 10% more loving-kindness?

Where are you currently stuck?

Loving and hugs,

Dina

P.S I have BIG news to be revealed next week, Wednesday! Keep an eye out for my blog post next week. There might or might not be an invitation in it to a free webinar, just to celebrate the occasion. Sign up here to receive this to your inbox!