Getting unstuck - can't you or won't you?
February 23, 2022, Dina-Marie Weineck
I recently went over to my mom’s for coffee. A treat, as always. My brother came in with his chemistry homework and asked something-something about potatoes. (my last chemistry class is way too far in the past for me to still speak that language). He basically said "I can’t do this. I don’t know the answer to this."
I asked: "Well, have you checked the companion book?" No, he hadn’t. A resource at his fingertips...unutilized.
The conversation with my brother wasn’t too different from how some client conversations start:
Client: "I don’t know what I need to do to be a leader. I don’t know how to network in this new field I’m trying to break into. I don’t know how to set up an email marketing campaign. I don’t know….."
Typically, I don’t buy that. Of course, when I know the ‘how to’, I’ll happily share or offer a resource. However, the "how to" isn't the core of the matter. Instead, I ask a few questions that relate more to the BEING than to the DOING:
- Why do you want to know/do this?
- Why haven’t you accomplished this yet?
- Have you heard of a thing called the Internet? 😉
I don’t mean to be snarky. Of course, they have. What I’m saying is, everyone in this digital day and age is as resourceful as they make themselves out to be.
- If you want to learn about sales funnels or how to set up an email list, google it.
- If you want to learn about email marketing, take a course, watch a webinar, etc.
You get the idea.
If you’re not doing it, it’s either not really important, or there’s a mindset shift required, aka a judgment holding you back.
So, if you’re not doing it, instead of beating yourself up over it, a few questions might help steer you in the right direction:
- What project is this task a part of?
- What are you afraid of happening once you set X in motion? (Another version of this is, how could your dream, that this task is a part of, turn into a nightmare?)
- What’s keeping you from doing it?
- How could you figure out how to do it? And why haven’t you / won’t you?
And ultimately, you want to ask this:
How can I approach this project (not task) with 10% more loving-kindness?
Where are you currently stuck?
Loving and hugs,
P.S I have BIG news to be revealed next week, Wednesday! Keep an eye out for my blog post next week. There might or might not be an invitation in it to a free webinar, just to celebrate the occasion. Sign up here to receive this to your inbox!